Hello, my name is Kat and I am addicted to my my iPhone.
Being an early thirties stay at home mum of a small toddler, I never saw the appeal of the unhealthy lifestyle people led within on-line communities. I was to busy with real life, chores, smelly nappies and endless cleaning, to worry about what was happening on the Internet. The real world was hard enough.
And then cupids bow struck and I met my beloved. My contract ended with the 3 network, and in a bid to keep me as a valued customer. I got offered an iPhone with all the Internet consumption I could digest. I took the deal and sold my soul to Apple for a further two years.
I now have the ability to post random crazy outbursts followed by endless streams of pish like never before. As a Samurai's blade is an extension of his arm. My iPhone is now an extension of my rather loud voice. The vast chaotic wonder of Facebook was an eye opener, being introduced to poking, blocking, games, comments, networks, blogging and random adverts for celebrity fad diets was intriguing.
I was reluctant to be part of this world, believing that the social interaction skills of the youth of today was eroding with each comment posted. I believed the new text language written had become a bastardisation of the English language, and when this new abbreviated language spawned a new dictionary, I just shook my head in disappointment. I had become a technological relic at 32. Despite growing up with computers, I never really embraced the fast paced technological advancements in communications that surrounded me. I preferred (and still do) fresh air, meeting with people, mountains and kids playing in the sunshine with a real football rather than computer generated one.
But I sold out when I got my sexy phone. The sleek, black, thin, touch screen pad took minutes to caress and seconds to fall in love with. All new iPhone users have this experience, that first hit is intoxicating. Just the feel of the phone in your hand is enough for you to plunder your granny's jewels to get one. I had no idea what an app was when I held this little beauty for the first time, I was mesmerised by the fact it had no keys. But when I got to grips with the basics, I began the endless search for apps. Facebook was the first to be downloaded. They say you always remember your first.
With all addictions it starts with a single hit, followed by another then another, always chasing that first sensation. Stephen would tell me I used facebook to much, 'you always got your head buried in that thing.' was a constant remark. Like any true addict I defended my habit and reasoned that my behaviour was acceptable because, 'everyone was doing it.' Then I became secretive about my Facebook use, I didn't want to cause a row. I would sneak to the toilet to check messages, and post comments, so no one would get upset with me. I was actually having a sleazy toilet affair with my iPhone and Facebook.
And with all addictions and secret affairs you eventually get found out! My dirty secret was out after my daughter dropped my phone and it stopped working. I went into utter panic, critical meltdown began. I frantically tried reviving my phone, my link to the worldwide web was severed and I craved it like crack. In a tail spin I grabbed my laptop and began troubleshooting Apple, luckily I managed to fix the phone, which was utter relief, but my unhealthy infatuation was out.
As with all addictions the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. I was checking facebook every few minutes, just flicking open the screen to discover if any new developments had taken place since the last few minutes. I needed to get to the route of my problem, and over dinner my husband enlightened me. Facebook had become the only adult conversation I had whilst I studied for my exams. You see I rarely saw Stephen because he was working a lot and Allana was my only company for a long time.Then I noticed a huge majority of my friends on Facebook that commented regularly (3 or 4 times a day) were all mums with children.
You see a recent study (unsure of it's validation as it came out of a glossy magazine) showed that mothers get on average a total of 15 minutes alone time a day. And mothers with young toddlers get even less. So when I got the chance for adult conversation, I grabbed it with both hands. Being a house wife is tough, day's are filled with endless demands, endless cleaning, endless running around, late nights, early mornings, snotty noses, coughs and colds that require constant nursing. It is a rewarding job, but any person with an ounce of honesty will admit that you need a break from them, no matter how much you love the bundle of joy who comes running at you at high speed to tell you they 'wuv you.' But when your home all day, with your child, you NEVER get that break. And then I found one. Facebook.
Facebook became my fresh air, it was gateway to another world and I didn't have to leave the house to be apart of it. By using Facebook I discovered that I could be me again. I could be Kat. With no demands, no sandwiches to make, no beds to change. cats to feed or dogs to walk. I could relax and be myself and interact with witty lovely people.
I cherish reading about Gemma's pregnancy food updates, I like hearing how her little one is developing and how she feels about being pregnant. I adore reading Kerry's comments about her dog Rog. It's epic. I know everything about that little pooch including his trips to the vets. I can't get enough of Lizzie's comments and blogs, I love the dark, witty and often inappropriate banter I have with the bandit Gary. And as for Charmaine always keeping me on the straight and narrow. What would I do without her. Not to mention the many hours of constant entertainment from the other guys and girls.
You can sometimes lose yourself in the duty of parenting. Losing your old identity and adjusting to the new one can have side effects. And mine was not being able to express the other side of me that wasn't wife and mother. So when I got the chance to post comments, I found freedom on-line.
For me personally my attitude towards the on-line communities has now changed. I have a healthy bias towards them now. I see that there is room for that world within my life but it has to be balanced with a balanced perspective. Knowing that I can still be me, wife and mother gives me a sense of relief and the infatuation of Facebook has now passed as all I craved and needed was adult company. Thank you Facebooker's for giving me that you precious people.
As for my iPhone... well we are still an item. All marriages have their ups and down. But I wouldn't be without the beauty now.
