She stood up to walk towards the living room then she looked at me and turned back, she knelt on the floor and stayed with me as she shouted for daddy. My little angel wouldn't leave her mummy's side. She was very brave, despite getting upset. She stroked my cheeks saying, 'it'll be OK mummy, daddy's coming soon.'
Stephen ran downstairs to help me to my feet and put me to bed with my medication whilst Allana brought my sticks, got my drink and wet a flannel for my face. She was a real superhero as she closed the curtains and sat next to me and read 'Aliens in their Underpants.' I couldn't be prouder of my caring little sparkly bloo.
For a three year old child she has not only had to master how to put on her own socks but how to help mummy put hers on as well. She has learnt how to call for help if I'm rendered unconscious and has a lot of responsibility for a toddler. She makes her own bed, washes herself and gets dressed and even gets her own breakfast, all under my supervision. You see I had to teach her these skills early on so she would become as independent as possible. It makes me feel like utter shit at times, that my child has to help me so much. But she is always keen to help.
My spinal injury occurred during childbirth as a result of scoliosis. I never had many problems with my back as a teenager or even going into early adulthood. I was really quite lucky at the time. But now the doctors can do nothing for me, there is no surgery that can be done, the only treatment available to me is pain management. Which consists of lots of painkillers and horrid injections every few months. I had to teach myself to walk again after Allana was born, we kinda learnt together which was fun. And every day I have gotten stronger because of her.
She is the reason I strive to better myself; to push myself to become more than what I am. I have a special bond with my daughter. And when she looked into my eyes as I lay in crippling agony on the floor. I saw the best of me reflected in her eyes and it was a beautiful but very painful moment. She is bright, cheeky, sensitive, caring, loving, moral, naughty and adventurous just like her mum. She stood firm even when she was scared and she is only 3 years old. The woman she will grow to be, will be a woman worth knowing. She already is someone magnificent who has touched the lives of the many people around her. If I do nothing else with my life I will die a happy woman knowing that I gave the world a great gift; I gave the world Allana-Rose.
I will love you forever my precious baby girl.
Hugs and Kisses
Mummy
xxxxx
